E3 2011: Saints Row: The Third Demo Impressions


Ever wanted to punch a girl in the balls even though they don’t have any? How about smack a random person with a giant purple dildo? No? Me neither, but Volition is here to show us why you will want to in Saint Row: The Third. For those that don’t know, the Saints Row series is the goofy, crazy, insane antitheses to Grand Theft Auto’s seriousness.

In Saints Row: The Third (SR3) you pick up right where Saints Row 2 left the gang, on top of the world and living the highlife. The Saints have gone beyond petty criminals though. They’re a brand now with bobble heads, energy drinks and feature films. Ladies love them and little boys want to be just like them. That is until a more powerful, worldwide gang, The Syndicate, botches one of their bank robberies and forces them to choose between war or submission through kickbacks. The Saints choose war and decide to take the fight to the Syndicate in the city of Steeleport.

Certain characters will be making their return such as Johnny Gat, Shaundi, and Peirce. The story is fun but what really makes the Saints Row games is the ludicrous game play, and SR3 is no slouch. It all starts with your character. The crazy customization of SR2 is back including sex, physical features and voice acting. New to SR3 is the Sex Appeal customization option which will enlarge or deflate certain body parts (use you imaginations) depending on how high you set the slider for each sex.

Now using a 5 foot purple dildo as a melee weapon is fine and all, but what made the demo for me are the apocalypse fists. These giant fists are described as containing the apocalypse in each of them. So any enemy you hit with them instantly explodes. Vehicle based weapons are in SR3 with an impressive looking jet that can shoot rockets, machine gun rounds and laser beams. The second vehicle shown, and my favorite, is the Professor Yankee Super Catapult. This truck sports a giant cannon on its roof that you can use to shoot pedestrians, yourself, or your co-op partner. That’s right, 2 player co-op is back in SR3 and it’s even better now that you can play through story missions in co-op.

It was a short but sweet demo, enough to make a Saints Row fan like me countdown the days until SR3’s November 15, 2011 release date.

About Abel Girmay

Just living, loving, and learning. What else is there to do?

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